Creature- Mamos Review

Sorry for the late review- just got back from vacation. I was out on beaches trying to get attacked by ancient sharks and grabbed for government experiments by mad scientists, but sadly I made it back unharmed. When will I get to use all the monster survival skills I have learned from these movies?

What I learned from this movie:

Not all German’s in movies have over the top accents, but they do all sexually harass American women.

Review:

The 80s was an amazing time for horror movies. The cheesy models and men wearing giant monster suits.  Give me a man in a giant rubber suit as a monster any day over a CGI anything (other then possibly a sasquatch because they are awsome and a man in a sasquatch suit will always look like chewbacca).

Creature featured two teams (one German, one American) exploring the moon of Titan. The first team there all dies, of course. And the second team investigates what went wrong.

This movie is full of unintentionally funny moments and actually as a pretty interesting story.

If I had to look for complaints with this movie it is that the monster doesn’t get enough screen time and how he only has one scientist killing move. He eats through peoples necks, it is cool, but it gets a little repetitive.

Best Monster Kill:

The monster neck bite. He catches his prey and slowly eats through their neck. It is a cool way for the monster to eat people, and is even more amazing when you see how slow the monster moves. He takes his time to get people, then he gets a nice snack.

Best Scene:

Don’t have to wait long for the best scene on the unintentional comedy scale. The movie opens with the german scientists (sadly no over the top german accent) finding a capsule with a monster in it. In celebration (all scientist celebrate this way) they take pictures of each other sitting on the capsule and release the monster who kills them. Creature 1 Science 0.

Rating:

Amazing film. I had to drop it 1/2 a point because there were no silly german accents, if only…

4/5 Colonel Klinks (because now all I can think about are funny germans)

Creature – Review by DOTD

Mamos’ theory of going farther away from the Great Northwest, in both time and space, seems to have been correct. Instead of little dolls running around and giggling, we actually got back to some good old fashioned gore and special effects. Creature delivered everything that represents the 1980s in one neat little package and also had some interesting plot points.

We start out following some West German scientists on Saturn’s moon Titan. When was the last time you heard somebody use the term West Germany? Anyway, they find an alien in a capsule and decide to do what any good scientist would do and pose for a photo op. Which leads me to my favorite kill of the movie. The alien bursts through the capsule and through the bottom of the scientists space suit, devouring him from the ass up. The suit fills up to the helmet in blood, and the screen fades to black. Thats when I knew we were back on track.

American scientists crash land on the moon and the movie really gets going. We had lots of gore, some great 80’s nudity, and some awesomely quirky characters. My personal favorite was an old German pervert who kept chasing after the American women. Old men are almost always funny to me. The Creature itself also had some interesting attributes. Although usually portrayed as a mindless monster, this creature also had the ability to implant little baby creatures onto his victims bodies. The corpses would then reanimate and proceed to trick other victims into certain death. The panicking Americans thought they had killed the creature more than once, but it always popped back up to terrorize them.

Creature had almost everything I look for in a monster movie. The only downfall was not enough screen time for the eponymous creature and the too dark space setting. Sometimes it was hard to make out what was going on. Still, it wasnt enough to make me grade it down too much. Overall it was a wild romp through sci fi of yester year.

4 out of 5 Pervy Germans

Creature

Last time we left the horror filled pacific northwest and went south to Mexico and back to the 90s. This did not go well. For our next movie we are going even farther away and back in time: the moon of Saturn and the 80s. I have a feeling we are going to get better results.

Synopsis:

“After landing on Saturn’s largest moon, an American exploration team discovers that members of a rival German group have been mutilated. As their numbers dwindle, the explorers look for a way to stop a vicious alien creature from killing them all. Starring Stan Ivar, Wendy Schaal, Lyman Ward, Diane Salinger and Klaus Kinski, this sci-fi horror film features a truly disgusting monster and loads of messy murders.”